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Patchnotes v1.27 - Sparring buff, Slime Poudrins, and Annointing

Sparring has been redesigned to greatly increase the amount of slime generated. This should help players catch up to the larger slimeholders on the server. Generally speaking, it's best to spar somebody with about 10x the slime that you have.

Something strange is going on in the mines... there are rumors of ARTIFACTS being unearthed. Their purpose and meaning is not entirely clear yet.

  • !mine now yields significantly more slime.
  • !mine now has a small chance to unearth slime poudrins in addition to slime.
  • Killing a player grants you their poudrins.
  • Poudrins are always lost on death.

The oft-requested feature of weapon naming has actually been implemented. Use the new !annoint command to name your currently equipped weapon.

  • !annoint requires 100 slime and 1 slime poudrin.
  • Names may be no more than 32 characters.
  • Names apply the current weapon and persist indefinitely, even through death.
  • Each weapon may have its own name.

Patchnotes v1.26 - Casino closes and Stamina Req'd for Fighting

A few flavor changes. The casino is now open only at night. Fighting causes fatigue, so you'll eventually need to eat/drink if you are sparring or killing.

  • The casino is open from 6pm until 6am.
  • !kill now causes 1 point of fatigue, applied to the caster.
  • !spar now causes 1 point of fatigue, applied to both players.
  • !order now optionally accepts a player mention, allowing you to buy food for somebody else.
  • Kingpins now eat free in the food-court.
  • !56709 has been added as an alternative to !howl.
  • SlimeCoin bounties awarded from killing players now actually work.

The Slime Times - Issue #4

Another issue of The Slime Times! And it's a big one... market crash, the tragic story of DoopedyShmoople, what's going on in the ARG, and the life story of Infallible Investor! Read it all here.

Contributions this week from editor in chief Seani, production editors LemonTart and Tobastion, illustrators Levy Jevy and Sleims, and ARG summarizer Niboe.

Patchnotes v1.25 - The Food Court

Slime 'n' Tonic ain't the only game in town anymore! Food and drink are now available at the #food-court instead.

  • Add a new channel, the #food-court, where all eating is done.
  • Add !menu and !order to view and purchase food.
  • The !drink command has been removed.
  • New weather patterns have been added.
  • !howl now has random variations.

ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN - Doopy Battles Ben Saint

DoopedyShmoople's victory over Ephraim in a POKEMON SHOWDOWN DUEL was followed by his brutal murder in the COMBAT ZONE. Seeking revenge, Doop has challenged Ben Saint himself to a showdown!!

The fight will be best of one, winner takes all. OU singles. The stakes: Ben will destroy 69 gigaslime if he's defeated... but if he wins, DoopedyShmoople will join the Killers.

The showdown is set for 4pm EDT tomorrow (5/27/2018).

Patchnotes v1.24 - SlimeCoin Transfers

Your slimebroker is working overtime! You can now !transfer SlimeCoin to players (with a 5% fee).

  • !transfer shares a cooldown with !invest and !withdraw (20 minutes)
  • It's possible to transfer slime to any player regardless of faction.
  • The Rowdy Fucker and Cop Killer kingpins can no longer !invest.

Patchnotes v1.23 - Time (and weather!)

Time now advances in New Los Angeles City aka Neo Milwaukee. The slime exchange is only open during regular business hours, but the stock price continues to fluctuate throughout the night. Be careful with your investments!!

  • Add a day/night cycle. One hour is 15 real minutes.
  • The stock exchange is now open only from 6am until 6pm.


  • Fixed an issue which would cause bat criticals hits not to land.
  • Negative slime is now persisted even if the haunting player revives.
  • Garrote wire crits now deal 100x weapon damage instead of instantly killing the target.
  • New command !patchnotes which links to the news page.

The Slime Times - Issue #3

Krak revealed to be a furry, Kanman dead, and the origins of the ARG! Read all about it and more in this week's Slime Times.

Contributors include Editor in Chief Seani, Production Editors LemonTart and Tobastion, Illustrators Levy Jevy, Doopedy Shmoople, and Juan the Alligator, and columnists DryIceBros, Evange_, ItsYaBoi, and Skip Venture!