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Patchnotes v3.61


  • You can now !graft on and !chemo off mutations at the Clinic of Slimoplasty in Crookline.
  • Mutations now take different numbers of levels to acquire, depending on their power.
  • 20 new mutations have been added to the game.
  • Roughly half of old mutations have new effects
  • Learn about mutation effects by reading surgical zines sold in the Clinic
  • Check the level of your current mutations using !mutations level
  • Traditional mutation rerolling has been disabled.


  • Apartment space has doubled
  • Attack damage with tools is now capped at level 35. The cost remains the same as normal, however.
  • Updated !balancecosmetic, should work now
  • Slimecorp executives can banish and pardon people.
  • !whatcanimake now shows results for all recipes
  • Pitchforks now affect metallic crops

Quarterly Report 3 - SlimeCorp Security Forces

...Code 507 in Green Light District. Lethal sentencing advised...

The SlimeCorp Security Forces have descended upon NLACAKANM!

  • Enlisting in the security forces can be done at SlimeCorp HQ.
  • This action will banish you from the Rowdys and the Killers, however...
  • Once enlisted, you can !sanitize graffiti. This removes capture influence from districts.
  • Sanitizing graffiti will award you with salary credits, which are paid out in SlimeCoin every 2 IRL days.
  • Swearing while enlisted as a security officer will remove salary credits.
  • Be advised, as negative salary credits will deduct SlimeCoin, but not below 0.
  • You can check your salary credits with !sc and !paycheck. At SlimeCorp HQ, you can convert credits to slime at a rate of 10000:1
  • This conversion is done with !payday, a command that can only be done between 6 and 8 AM, in-game time.
  • Security officers have access to The Breakroom, which can be entered and exited with !clockin and !clockout.
  • !clockin must be used at SlimeCorp HQ. Once inside, you'll have access to a !menu of free food, weapons, and a community !chest.
  • Executives and on-duty security officers may post !propaganda.

  • Entirely unrelated to all of this, Rollerblades have (finally) been added to the game!
  • You can craft them with 2 old boots, 1 piece of leather, 8 poudrins, and 2 pieces of string.
  • They provide a significant boost to speed, but at the cost of attack and defense.

  • Removed Sherman.

Dire Apple In Easter Hay

Gankers Vs. Shamblers has been cancelled. Thank you to all who participated.

  • All commands related to the event have been disabled, with the exception of !almanac
  • Enemies will now continue to spawn normally again, and all districts have been de-shambled
  • All shambler-related equipment will be nerfed.
  • All additions related to farming will continue to be in the game.

Mega Patchnotes Catchup II

More updates that have happened after the launch of Gankers Vs. Shamblers

Gankers Vs. Shamblers


If you haven't read Ben's SLIME & PUNISHMENT comic, you can catch up on his site. Once you do, watch this incredible animated finale to the bicarbonate of soda rain saga. I've been waiting for this for what feels like years. Do you even remember a time before the rain??

v3.33 Mega Patchnotes Catchup

Ghosts, Cosmetics, Capping, Streets, New Crops, and more!

No but for real, we have a LOT of shit to go over. I'll try to be as concise as I can, it's been a while since we last had a proper breakdown of things.


Absolute legend Kibun has concocted the ultimate new meme: NLACakaNM citizen IDs. This stroke of pure genius gives everyone a chance to show off their characters and add a little personality. If you're wondering whether you should make an ID and post it in #community-service, the answer is YES and the templates are HERE:

If you don't post your ID, honestly, do you even live in this town?




Monsoon's Endless War EP 1

I'm always impressed with the ability of this community not just to put out great individual songs, but sometimes even entire albums. Here's a four-track EP from Monsoon. Great sweeping synth sounds feature heavily in "Flushed Hearts," my favorite song. In his own words:

An automaton found himself in a strange yet intriguing place, and found time amidst the mining and violence to craft this!

This is an old one, posted a couple of months ago, but there's no hard and fast expiration date for the community content I will post. If you have something cool you want to share, get in touch with me on Discord and let me know what you'd like to share and what you want the post to say.

~ Krak


Wow, that last news post sure was cringe. Racism? Like it's a joke? Embarrassing. @OOF. I don't think I need to explain to anypony here why normalizing oppressive language is not only itself harmful, but can lead from irony to sincere hatred. Be careful what you welcome into your community! (Also, DIE ROWDY BUSTERS.)

You know what's not cringe? The latest sweet mouse track, a sing-over parody of Weird Al's "Hardware Store," submitted for the #vendors-contest. Is it unethical to so loudly promote a contest entry before the contest is judged? Probably!! Nobody reads the news anyway. Give it a listen over on soundcloud!